Hundreds of books will tell you about getting into college, what college is like, what to do (and not do) while you’re there, and what to do when you’re done. But books won’t tell you everything. You’ll need a map of your campus, a map of your new city, a map of the region or state around you when you make the Big Move away from home. Likewise, you’ll need some guidance on how to make the transitions ahead of you while staying rooted in what you’ve left behind.
As Southern girls, we know a lot about staying rooted and connected. (We can hardly help it. We think it’s something in the water.) As two people who have gone through what you’re about to – one a recent college graduate, the other just out of freshman year – we hope to help you draw a map for your departure from home. We hope that sharing our experiences will help you navigate some tricky roads and waters on your way to collegiate bliss and beyond.
Get Behind the Wheel
You’ve survived to graduation, but the summer now seems iffy. You don’t know exactly what will happen to you, and frankly neither do we. Only one thing is for sure—you will be spending time preparing for what’s next. Our first piece of advice? Don’t get so caught up in preparations that you forget to enjoy your summer. Whether you’re getting ready to settle in a dorm room or a downtown apartment, whether you’ve got a job or are searching for one, make time for friends. Go to the movies. Talk to your family, not only about the transition you’re making, but about that novel you’re reading or that trip you took together five years ago. This will not only keep you relaxed, it’ll strengthen the bonds you’re about to stretch by your departure.
On the other hand, don’t spend so much time enjoying yourself that, when August comes, you’re completely caught by surprise. Though this may not be the perfect way for you to do it, here is what one of us did. After a two-week vacation and a week of volunteering, she spent the remaining time preparing for college while she worked at a summer job. She set aside time to do everything she wanted to do, setting small, achievable goals. For example, she compiled a list of everything she thought she could possibly need when she moved. Then she would set aside part of her weekend for organizing what she already had, deciding what she needed to buy, and going out to buy it. The rest of the weekend was free for fun. She’d also spread out smaller tasks through the week, so that she never became frantic and could maintain the sanctity of her summer.
Continue 10 weeks to Independence
Once you’ve got the practical stuff in hand, there’s social life to handle. The inevitable questions will pour in from your parents, your friends, and people you barely know. “Are you excited?” “How did you decide where to go?” “When do you start?” “Where will you live?” “What classes will you take?” The list, as you well know, goes on. Just have patience. Smile and answer their questions, no matter how many times that hour you have been asked the same ones. People ask because they care about you, your happiness and your future.
Surprisingly, you may find strangers much easier to deal with than your friends and family. This is because your friends and family care more. They’re worried that you’ll make mistakes, that you’ll go through difficult times without them, that you’ll grow away from them or lose touch with them. You may have some of the same worries and fears.
At times like this, remind yourself and your loved ones of two things. First, though you can’t control what happens to you, you can control what you make happen. You can choose to take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. They can choose to trust you based on how you’ve acted so far. If you haven’t been so responsible in the past, you can start now. They can help and support you by believing that your new endeavor can succeed.
